You really coming over, don't trick.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
