Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
