K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize