So drunk, too bad you don't want this
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
