she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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