I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The beer is more important than you right now.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
