Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
