she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
