I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
