Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
