so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
