This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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