whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
