I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
