there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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