It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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