just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
