how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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