why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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