I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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