tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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