I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
