She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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