you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
