That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
