Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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