I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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