I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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