But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
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It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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