I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
