he thought i was a dude.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
