i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
being pregnant is like rehab
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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