There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Text me some of your sweat
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
