6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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