in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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