somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
