ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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