you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
