tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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