i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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