Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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