just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
