I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
