We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
