I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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