I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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