her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize