No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
