Only a mothe r could love this liver
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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