I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
