wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
