What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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