I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
