Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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