Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
