i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
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