what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
