I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
