so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
