If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Everyone says I win the strip club
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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