don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
