thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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