but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
