The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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