I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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