Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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