69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
