Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
