Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize